Sarah D. Shearer

Month four of motherhood is upon me, and perhaps more importantly, Lucas and I are approaching one and a half years of marriage on the 7th of June. Anyone ever look at your spouse after years of knowing them and feel like you just met on the street? How can you live with someone day in and day out  and still have such depths to reach in your knowledge of them? 

On an average day I feel like we are good at being married. We very rarely fight and usually spend our time together laughing and joking–what drew us to each other in the first place. But, like every couple, we have areas we can grow in. I was recently reminded of this as I worked through some feelings I’ve been having. Nothing like marriage to make you realize you’re not nearly as awesome of a person as you thought. My feelings can be very overpowering and it’s easy to let them rule me. They have a mind of their own and often they lie. They invent scenarios and make up stories about the intent of other people. Suddenly, I may find myself listening to my feelings over the truth, and this may very well create discord. 

I have got to learn to be the boss of my emotions. 

Can any other wives relate?

Anyways, as I was apologizing to my dear husband for my dramatic outburst I realized that  when I pick a fight I’m negatively impacting the atmosphere of my home. I’m a homemaker and my role is to create peace in my home. Who cares if dinner is on the table and the house is clean if I’m cranky and bitter? I have been focusing more on the physical state of my home and less on the spiritual state. My husband works all day and needs to enter a sanctuary, not a place where he is criticised constantly. All the clean towels and socks in the world can’t make up for a messy heart and mind.

The Lord is challenging me to surrender all my expectations and take. Every. Thought. Captive. I may be a young wife without a lot of years of experience but there is one thing I can always fix: my attitude. 

Lord help me cultivate a peaceful home and marriage!