Sarah D. Shearer

It has been altogether too long since I updated my blog! I suppose keeping up with a ten month old, a home, a husband, tutoring students, friendships, etc… really can keep a girl on her toes!

I am in disbelief that Caroline is fast approaching the one year mark. I miss my tiny newborn baby and already have baby fever. I would like to say here that I loved the newborn phase and so did Lucas.  I was prepared for this nebulous and trying time, but even looking back on her first hours and days with us, the memories are shrouded in magic and wonder.  Her tiny cries, her snuggly body, her heart-stopping blue eyes….Some of the  best days of my life..

And it has only improved! Every month has brought new smiles and accomplishments. I never understood why parents were so obsessed with their babies doing insignificant things, but when you spend every waking moment with your daughter and one day she suddenly starts to blow raspberries and no one taught her how to do it, she just figured it out, your heart explodes and you realize you have never felt more proud of anyone for doing anything. Then, when she figures out other noises and ceases to blow raspberries, your heart explodes again because you had no idea the raspberry days were going to be so short-lived and you discover the unique sadness of parenthood’s fleeting joys. Babies truly don’t keep.

I say all this to say that God has been infinitely kind to us to give us the family structure. While our society has decided to balk at cultural norms that have been in place since the dawn of time, I see more clearly every day how God’s plan for the world is truly the best plan.

I see his generosity in the form of marriage, a gift he instituted so early in creation. Coming to understand that I was created by God to be a helper is so empowering and purpose giving. Walking out that call in a world that has completely disregarded gender and gender roles feels important and almost solemn. I am still learning how to truly help Lucas but it is definitely my life work.

I see God santifying me as I lay down my desire to rule and control and I see him shaping my husband as he provides for his family in every imaginable way.

I see the goodness of God in his command to wait for sex until marriage. I am grieved that this choice is so rare, only because young people are trading in something inexplicably precious for something cheap and truly damaging. I see the protective hand of God in this aspect, for if we honored him in this way, we could avoid an innumerable amount of problems, both physically and spiritually. How absolutely delightful to enjoy the security of my husband’s affections, and how sweet it made the anticipation of our wedding day when it wasn’t a prize we cashed in on on our first or second date.

I see the sovereignty of God as we trust him when it comes to our family. Deciding right off the bat that children are a blessing has been so rewarding and it is something I see people forsaking so so often. I read the other day just 18% of families in America are nuclear, with a mother and father and children. Less than one fifth of families are getting to experience the joy that God intended for his children. 

In the name of tolerance, personal choice and the decision that you can do whatever with whomever whenever, we are losing so much of our inheritance. We are the prodigal son, asking for cheap thrills right now, not knowing we will end up in a pig trough soon enough. 

The world’s way doesn’t work. Look around. It’s literally hell on earth. Accepting every orientation and attraction and whim is a downward spiral because there is no safety there. If everything is okay, chaos ensues.

And this doesn’t only reveal itself in homosexuality, etc. It is infinitely moe insidious. I see it every day in articles about why women are choosing careers over families and the birth rate has plummeted! The world’s way literally ceases the population, and God’s way brings life!

Men are trading in the responsibility of family for extended adolescence and they balk at the idea that they may have to be the sole provider. They are trading in the joy of fatherhood and the blessing of a fruitful wife for what? Video games? Bachelor pads?  Porn?

Women are spending the majority of their fruitful years racking up debt they then have to work to pay off when they could be enjoying their children. Children are being shipped off to be discipled by the government  and the cycle continues again.

And if you’re incensed right now, which you well may be, remember, if you are a christian, I have said nothing that Jesus did not say first. He created the family and he has blessed it. Deciding that you don’t want to participate is your loss.

 His entire story is about family. It begins with him laying out the identity of men and women. It continues as generations and nations are built through families, and it culminates in the new testament as we learn what families are to look like in light of the new covenant. The astounding ending is literally a wedding, and yet somehow we have decided that all of this is just optional?

I’m not buying it.  I firmly believe that as the family goes, so goes the nation, and history proves to us that a man, a woman and children united by the bonds of matrimony are a formidable opposition to enemy forces. 

Want to make the world a better place? Seek to glorify God by reflecting his nature as it pertains to you. Men, learn what the bible says about being a man. Women, devote yourself to becoming the woman God was imagining when he created Eve. couples, realize your marriage is more than the fact you live in the same house. You are a weapon of mass destruction against the deception of our age. Your light makes the enemy run and hide! Your children are arrows that pierce the darkness and your home is a refuge to the outsider.

There will always be sin in the world and there will always be victims of sin, and many do not get to live out this structure by no fault of their own, but it does not change the fact that God’s plan for the vast majority of his children involves building a family and creating a heritage. I am praying for my friends who aren’t there right now. Friends who are single parents seeking to reflect Jesus in their families are my heroes.

There are always exceptions, but they are just that, exceptions, and often these people know who they are. God often tells you specifically if you are to be celibate. But more often, his gift to you comes in the form of marriage and children. That is, if you will accept his gift even if it doesn’t come in your preferred packaging or at your preferred time. Lots of us have to wait for both. But we should be seeking praying and serving while we wait.

Many are hopeless, wondering why things are so bad, yet they refuse to call evil evil and good good. We are literally dying on a hill of ambivalence. Babies are being murdered, children are being neglected and husbands and wives are calling it quits for unbiblical reasons and we wonder why we are losing the battle.

Take up your swords. Guard your family. Pursue God’s WONDERFUL plans for you. His ways are better, higher, and more fun. 

I’m not wrong. I dare you to try it.