Sarah D. Shearer

I have to admit, it’s hard for me to relate to all these “difficult year” sentiments. I suppose we all take turns with hardships, and believe me, I have seen some trying seasons, but 2020 has been largely sweet for this not so newlywed.

Today, I caught up on FB. (Three babies born this week!)–to which I yelled to Lucas in the other room, “I want one!” And he responded “I gave you one already!” lol. I love seeing what people are thankful for, and honestly, we all have a lot to be thankful for, and it is just my personal opinion that our gratitude should end with a decisive period or exclamation point, rather than a comma and a “despite this year”, or “even though 2020 sucked.”

God is good and good to us, and the only thing that should follow a “despite” is “despite the fact that we deserve nothing, we actually deserve hell.”

I was not owed a good 2020. I was not owed a healthy first pregnancy, and I have not been entitled to a healthy second one. I have done nothing to earn the good things I have, and the moment I begin to think my good performance in life ensures me smooth sailing, I’m in big trouble.

My dad almost died of cancer in 2009, and then almost died in a tragic accident in 2012. My family has seen much hardship, and so has my husband and his family. This is life on earth. I should not expect God to be so transactional that I treat him like a vending machine, putting in good works and reaping an easy life. Yes, there are principles he sets before us for our good and for a much more prosperous existence. But easy? We weren’t promised that.

I want to learn to be thankful, period. Thankful we have enough to eat every meal, every day. Thankful we live for almost nothing in a big, pretty home. Thankful my husband’s job will allow me to stay home with our babies. Thankful I married a man who draws me closer to the Father daily. I am nearly undone at the goodness of God to me.

In the words of the famed song, I didn’t earn it, and I don’t deserve it… I am merely a grateful daughter who realizes I am loved by a Good Father and there is nothing I can do about it.

Today, I am thankful. Period. End of story.