Sarah D. Shearer

Today, I am going to share some of my story, and how we can truly effect change.

Nine years ago, I graduated high school and made the choice to attend a women’s college. I thought this would be an idyllic southern experience. The campus is well over one hundred years old, steeped in history and tradition. I imagined us girls balancing books on our heads, attending socials and learning about the arts. Let’s just say I was off by about 60 years.

As it turns out, the school had changed drastically, and most of the women had no interest in preserving the glorious art of femininity, but rather in systematically destroying it. I was told I only dressed femininely because societal constructs had forced me to. I suppose it couldn’t possibly have been that I am an intelligent, mindful, self-respecting female who enjoys her sex and the frills thereof.

I sat in on lectures where the professors encouraged students to reject any requests to help prepare and serve Thanksgiving dinner. This was not women’s work, nor was caring for any children present. Instead, we were told to sit in the living room in a sort of Rosa Parks-esque attitude and refuse to stand and serve in any capacity. It was after that day that I decided this school was not the place for me.

I withdrew myself after one semester and said goodbye to my full ride scholarship, confident I had made the right choice in leaving. My time there absolutely changed my life, and ignited a passion within me for honoring and preserving true femininity. However, it has been somewhat of a roller coaster since. After I left, I veered hard right and became rather militant in the opposite direction. Sometimes, conviction can lead us to legalism if we are not careful. I probably said some brash things–I still do this! Ha!

Over the years, I have hopefully shucked some of the legalism about skirts and other semantics, but my passion remains:

Feminism is destroying women, and many are marching willingly to their own demise. We have been duped into believing that masculinity is more appealing than femininity, that gender is a choice, and that being born a woman really truly means absolutely nothing. Nevermind the fact that ONLY we can birth babies. Somehow we have even made this a pathetic thing, and women who choose to have lots of children are seen as weak and slaves to an oppressive system. I suppose it couldn’t be that some women actually enjoy being mothers and have the conviction all on their own?

While I was single, I passionately communicated about living that season well. I was sure God would provide a husband who would pursue me valiantly, an that I didn’t have to stoop to the cultural norm of serial dating and premarital sex in order to find true love. And He did!!

but.

but but but…..

I am learning that my blog posts and instagram captions cannot inspire anyone to change their lives. I can’t persuade you into another, more countercultural, biblical lifestyle. I am good with words, but I am not that good.

In my black and white mind, the Bible makes sense, and all women should adhere to certain standards, but just as me convincing you that being a Christian is great will not urge you to salvation, I cannot persuade anyone to embrace the more traditional femininity and womanhood that I have found to be so fulfilling.

You have to want it for yourself.

Lucas and I have many convictions that I’m discovering are extremely rare, but I can’t force you to live like us.

All I can do is run hard and fast toward the call of Christ on my life, undistracted by side shows and critics. I must do what I know God has asked of me, and hope you hear his voice and live for him as well. My passions must not lead me to “you should do this too” type statements, or worse, a haughty spirit, thinking I am more holy than you, because I do this one specific thing. As a friend one told me, “I know a lot of women who will tripping over their floor-length denim skirts, all the way to hell.”

We can and we should stand boldly for femininity and motherhood and being meek and submissive wives, but the moment our hearts find themselves elevated above others and we think we are somehow more holy than other women who are living differently, we have left Christ behind.

Let the words of my mouth be pleasing to the Lord, and may my life be a fragrant aroma that beckons people rather than one that drags people in.

So you see, you can’t convince anyone of anything. Your facebook posts aren’t doing the trick and neither are mine. How are you living? What do you do when no one is watching? How do you love the unlovable and those with whom you disagree? Let us make a bold return to humility and strength of conviction, recognizing that the two are not mutually exclusive.

While others are congratulating themselves, I have to sit humbly at the foot of the cross and marvel that I’m saved at all. – Charles Spurgeon