Sarah D. Shearer

About 88% of the time, I am absolutely thrilled to become a mom. After I decided to stop living in the perpetual fear of having another miscarriage, I have proceeded to have a very anxiety-free, fun and truly easy pregnancy. I’ve purposely limited the books and materials I have ingested, because everyone has such differing opinions, and I figure the Lord will show me what I need to know for my child. However, I am reading The Mama Natural, and Ina May’s Guide to Childbirth and I highly recommend these!

Anyways, I digress.

I said I was great about 88 % of the time. The other 12 %, I worry I will be a terribly incapable mother.

Many tasks are difficult for me, but I have had 27 years to master them, so I really don’t struggle on a daily basis. But I have never had a child before, and, they come with all sorts of challenges! I’ve done a huge amount of babysitting over the years, which has given me just enough experience to realize that baby-proof usually means Sarah-proof. Medicine bottles are hard to open, car seat buttons are hard to press, strollers are hard to steer, snaps on onesies are straight from hell, and did I mention babies get rather heavy?

I hate, hate, hate asking for help, and my pride is already mounting at the thought that I will most definitely need help at some point.

One of the many reasons I did not want to wait to have children was because the longer you prolong something you are scared of, the scarier it gets. You rationalize and give yourself all sorts of excuses, but when it comes down to it, you are just plain scared. So I figured by jumping in immediately, I would have to face my fears head-on.

And the clock is officially ticking.

Three months, and ready or not, I’ll be a mom and on the biggest adventure of my life.

It’s really easy for me to be insular about this, thinking no one else is nervous about motherhood, or really anything, but poor old me. I see the world as me and everyone else. Things are easy for everyone else, but I’ll struggle more.

And I would just like to point out a few flaws in my narrative.

First, I’m nothing special. I am a person just like you, and I’m sure you have worried if you will be a good mom for other reasons. Maybe you had a not so great mom so you don’t know what good moms look like. Maybe your health isn’t great, you lack a good support system, or this baby was an oops and you never planned to walk this road. Whatever may have brought a woman to motherhood, she may feel inadequate for the journey ahead.

It is downright selfish of me to think I’m the only person in the world with the odds stacked against them. You know what that makes me sound like?

A victim.

And I am no victim.

Second, if I prevented myself from the joys of motherhood because of my perceived inadequacy, I would be committing the sin of idolatry, because now I am God and I’m deciding what I’m capable of, rather than trusting Him with my story.

Third, I am forgetting the very important detail that The Lord is my helper! If I need proof that I can do this, I need look no further than down at my growing belly. He allowed me to conceive, and that is all the proof I need that, with His help, I can do this.

He will equip me, He will help me, He will uphold me, sustain me, provide for me, and strengthen me both spiritually and physically to be my baby’s mama. I am who He chose for this, and I am NOT enough, but with Him, I can do all things.

And so can you. Whether you are facing anxiety about the kind of mom you will be, or maybe a different situation altogether, look around you. Perhaps you already have all the proof you need to know He has given you what it takes.

I don’t know how I’m going to do a lot of things, but I’ll figure it out, one day at a time. I don’t have the answers yet, but when it’s time, He will be my Daily Bread, and He will be yours too.

Inadequacy is nothing more than an invitation to fall into the arms of a Father who longs to be gracious to us. He rises to show us compassion. He gently leads us, and he like an earthly father, will carry us when we are too weak to go on.

Like Paul, I shall rejoice in my weakness!

Therefore, in order to keep me from becoming conceited, I was given a thorn in my flesh, a messenger of Satan, to torment me. ⁸ Three times I pleaded with the Lord to take it away from me. ⁹ But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me. ¹⁰ That is why, for Christ’s sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong.

2 Corinthians 12

Each day, I am more encouraged. My utter dependence on Him to come through for me brings me to a greater place of intimacy than I ever could have fathomed. I will need His strength and His wisdom to carry out basic tasks, which means His presence will be with me always! How sweet is this!

Are you feeling inadequate, anxious, unprepared, ill-equipped, and just plan worried?

Rejoice, my friend. He is with you.

Fear not, for I am with you;
Be not dismayed, for I am your God.
I will strengthen you,
Yes, I will help you,
I will uphold you with My righteous right hand.’

Isaiah 41:10