Sarah D. Shearer

This month, Lucas and I are celebrating two years together. In September of 2018, he moved here and our long distance relationship became a gloriously short distance relationship. It was all incredibly new for me–I had never been in a relationship and had no concept for how such things were supposed to go. I’ve since learned that the mentality that multiple relationships give you much needed “experience” is complete balderdash. Teenage girls–decide right now to entrust your romantic life to God and he will gloriously and sometimes annoyingly protect you until the time is right.

Anyways, I digress.

I want to share a story from right after we started dating. About 24 hours after Lucas asked me to be his girlfriend, I found myself in my apartment, FREAKING OUT.

As I mentioned, this was my first relationship and I wanted to do it right. I had always prayed for one man. I didn’t want to date multiple people. I wanted God to bring me my husband, not a boyfriend. So as excited as I was that someone so marvelous was interested in me, I wasn’t sure what to do with a boyfriend. I did know one thing, though. If I wasn’t absolutely sure I was going to marry Lucas, I needed to get out, and quick.

And as I paced around my apartment, I realized I wasn’t actually sure I was supposed to marry him! I became emotional and cried out to The Lord to show me. Is he the one?? Because if he wasn’t, I needed to go ahead and call him and break up with him. Thinking about that made me angry! Why would God bring this guy into my life only for me to have to reject him? I needed an answer.

My bible was open, worship music was playing, and I was listening. Suddenly, this still, small voice spoke to my soul, and said, “Lucas isn’t the one.”

…..um, what.

I was hoping for a different answer, there, God.

My heart started beating fast, and I began to realize just how strong my feelings for this man were. Sacrificing him would be the gravest thing I had ever done.

Are you sure, Lord?

And clearly, I heard the Holy Spirit say, “Lucas isn’t the one. I’m the One. I’m the only one who can satisfy your soul! Lucas is an earthly gift I am giving you, and I want you to enjoy him. But he’s not the one. I AM.”

That moment marked me and how I viewed our relationship. I had been praying for the elusive “one” since I was probably 13, but I had never considered that “one” person may not exist. We often view a spouse as a missing piece, and I think we would be better off if we viewed them as a gift.

I dont have a particularly moment when I realized I was going to marry Lucas. It was a thousand little moments and countless days together where I saw what an absolutely unmerited and beautiful gift he was in my life.

If you are just beginning a dating relationship, be at peace! You won’t know the end from the beginning. Trust your father’s voice and don’t hold so tightly to your own plans. You may not know he’s your husband at your first date. Go on more dates. Trust God, seek counsel from your parents, and listen to people who hear from the Lord. Sometimes it takes a while, which is why it is so important not to give yourself away physically before you are married.

If you are single, instead of praying for an oddly specific list that the “One” must have, let Jesus write that list and allow him to bring you the gift of a husband or wife. It’s funny isn’t it, we don’t usually pick out our own gifts, do we? Someone who loves us picks them, with us in mind. Some of my favorite gifts are things I never would have chosen, but I absolutely love. I have to say, though, my favorite gift is Lucas.

James 1:17- “Every good gift and every perfect gift is from above, and cometh down from the Father of lights, with whom is no variableness, neither shadow of turning.”