Sarah D. Shearer

When Lucas and I got married, there were a few important details on which we were both immovable regarding our wedding. We wanted good food and dancing, and we wanted kids to be at the wedding. Many of our friends have a lot of kids, so it easily added 60 to 70 people to our guest list, but it didn’t matter. We wanted children that were special to us there celebrating our marriage. I have so many fond memories of attending weddings as a child, and I think it’s important for children to see adults commit their lives to one another. It instills an awe and respect for marriage from an early age. 

We knew the chatter of toddlers and babies would undoubtedly be heard throughout the  ceremony, but to us, those sounds were not annoyances, they were the signs of life. Suffice it to say, we love children.

But I have news for you.

The enemy hates children, and his message is not being drowned out by the church or by society, it is being amplified. We are told to wait to have children as long as we can, so we “can enjoy ourselves before we never sleep again.” Children are seen as a burden, an expense, and someone who has no children is to be exalted as the one who must have all the fun. 

Author and speaker Allie Beth Stuckey addresses “toxic mommy culture,” in which moms constantly complain about their kids, and freely discuss how copious amounts of wine are the only thing getting them through motherhood. As she so aptly states, “You are not a victim of motherhood, you are a beneficiary of it.” 

Popular culture wants you to limit the amount of children you have to the most convenient number possible–you definitely want to stop before people start asking if you know what causes that. 

Then, once you succumb and have a few, the culture would love for you to sign them away to countless activities and programs, so they see you for a fraction of their day, meanwhile someone else is shaping their worldview.

Are you getting it yet?

The enemy wants you to see children as a liability, but God wants you to see children as an asset. (See book Family Revision by Jeremy Pryor)

The enemy wants you to think of children as a choice you make if you are ready, and he would really love it if you made that choice before they were ever born. Prevent, prevent, stop!! –and if one slips through, it’s your choice! You can end their life before it begins if it’s convenient for you.

Abortion is a message to the world that children are a major threat to the purposes of God, and as Christians, we should be a louder voice. And what should we be declaring with our voices?

Well for starters, the word of God.

Behold, children are a heritage from the Lord, The fruit of the womb is a reward. Like arrows in the hand of a warrior, So are the children of one’s youth. Happy is the man who has his quiver full of them; They shall not be ashamed, But shall speak with their enemies in the gate. –Psalm 127

It’s abundantly clear what Jesus thinks. Where culture would like for you to think that children are a punishment and imposition, Jesus says children are a reward, a blessing and a heritage. Jesus says that a man with many children is happy, and if he says it, it’s true.

Do you see children as a blessing, as a reward, as something that improves your life, rather than something that detracts from it?

If you are a Christian, I urge you to answer these questions honestly.

I have hesitated to write about this topic because I’m no mom to a passel of energetic kiddos yet, (just the one at 16 weeks!)  but I am newly married and I know a lot of unmarried people and newly married people navigating these discussions. 

In fact, this conversation is important for teenagers in highschool, because before you are ever married and deciding when to start a family, you’re young and you are watching those who are older than you. How do they talk about their kids? Do they make it sound like something to look forward to, or something to dread? I learned early on who I was going to listen to, and it wasn’t the miserable moms and dads, it was the parents who seemed to genuinely enjoy their families. Of course it’s understood that raising children is ANYTHING but easy, but millennials have been fed this lie that if something is hard, it’s not worth doing.

What if, by deciding not to have kids, or worse yet, by deciding not to enjoy the ones you have, you are missing out on God’s greatest and richest blessings in your life?

What if?

I can already hear people saying to me….Sarah, you don’t understand. You haven’t even had kids yet and you are already doling out parenting advice?? Call me when you have three toddlers and see how you feel then!

To that I say, yeah, I’m sure I’ll be tired, but I’m not handing out advice from Sarah right now. I’m speaking the Word of God himself, and he says children are a blessing. He says be fruitful and multiply. He says children are a reward. He says my children will be a blessing.

I’m going for what he says, even if it costs me a convenient, easy, or luxurious life. I’ll take his rewards any day.

So I encourage you–pray about your view of children, ask God what his vision for your family is, and by all means invite him into your family planning. He’s a better planner than you are 🙂