Sarah D. Shearer

I am extremely passionate about family, about God’s heart for people, and about reclaiming the simple and yet radical mandates Jesus gave us in scripture.

Marriage and family are under immense attack right now, which makes me think they must be really, really, important.

So is marriage more important than being single? Can we accomplish more married than alone? The Bible has much to say about every season of our lives. I hope to encourage married and single people in the season God has you!

I was single to the max for 25 years, so I’m quite familiar with that journey. And now I’m married and I’m getting more familiar with this journey. So which is better, to married or to be single?

I’m no expert, so I’ll defer to the expert, the words of Jesus, to guide us.

Here’s what Paul has to say.

“We are to live as those who live in the world system but are not absorbed by it, for the world as we know it is quickly passing away. Because of this, we need to live as free from anxiety as possible. For a single man is focused on the things of the Lord and how he may please him. But a married man is pulled in two directions, for he is concerned L in love with a woman, although he never intended to marry, let him go ahead and marry her; it is not a sin to do so. On the other hand, if a man stands firm in his heart to remain single, and is under no compulsion to get married but has control over his passions and is determined to remain celibate, he has chosen well. So then, the one who marries his fiancée does well and the one who chooses not to marry her does better.”

1 Corinthians 7:31-38 TPT

As we know, Paul was not married and he highlights the benefits of being single so you can devote yourself more fully to Christ. This is so important. While I was single I traveled extensively internationally, I mentored younger girls, I served in youth ministry, I babysat, etc. I lived to the full. If you’re single, you should be living to the hilt, not sitting at home waiting for Prince Charming to come sweep you off your feet.

HOWEVER.

As most of us will marry someday, we should be living in preparation for that day. As I was praying about what to say to you, I kept hearing two words, training ground. Training ground for our married lives. The person we become as an individual has a huge impact on the person we will be once we are married. We should be living with purpose while we are single and we should be earnestly praying and preparing to be a wife or a husband. For me, that looked like learning how to manage my money better, learning how to prepare good food, learning how to keep a home, learning how to be in relationship with people of the opposite sex in a healthy way, etc. All of these skills are vital to a good marriage and should be honed in our season of waiting.

Single girls, my younger sisters, live with purpose now. Live as though you will be a wife and mom someday. Learn vital skills now. Become a strong believer now. Clean your house now. Learn how to cook now. Learn how to make income that can help your family. Use your days wisely. This is not so you will live in performance and impress some guy. This is so you can please God as you honor him in your current season! The right guy will see your heart for Jesus. The other stuff is icing for him. Use your time well now. Be the single woman Paul exhorts you to be!

As I pondered the words “training ground”, I thought of our lives on earth.

As the bride of Christ, we too are in a season of waiting. We were not made for this world, but rather we were made for eternal fellowship with God, and our lives here on earth are a training ground for a world we have yet to see.

“Then in a vision I saw a new heaven and a new earth. The first heaven and earth had passed away, and the sea no longer existed. I saw the Holy City, the New Jerusalem, descending out of the heavenly realm from the presence of God, like a pleasing bride that had been prepared for her husband, adorned for her wedding. And I heard a thunderous voice from the throne, saying: “Look! God’s tabernacle is with human beings. And from now on he will tabernacle with them as their God. Now God himself will have his home with them— ‘God-with-them’ will be their God! He will wipe away every tear from their eyes and eliminate death entirely. No one will mourn or weep any longer. The pain of wounds will no longer exist, for the old order has ceased.””

Revelation 21:1-4 TPT

This is what we were created for! Our lives on earth, however fruitful, are just blips on the radar. We are all made for more.

If marriage on earth is a true reflection of God’s love for us, then those who are married also have a high calling.

My husband is called to love me as Christ loves the church, which is no small task. I’m called to submit to him, as the body of Christ submits to the head, Jesus. And out of that union, we are told to be fruitful and multiply and to subdue the earth. Again, these are all immense tasks!

So we return to the question, is one better than the other? Do married people have it made in the shade or is the single life the way to go?

The answer I believe is simple.

Whatever you are right now is what is best.

If you’re single, be single to the glory of God, while steadfastly interceding for your spouse. Too many of us are becoming complacent. We need to press in and believe for the provision of God in every area of our lives, including our spouse! Press in and pray and be patient. God’s man in the best man. I have prayed for Lucas since I was 12 years old and he was the answer to every prayer and then some. Pray, pray, pray some more.

Prepare, live with a vision in mind. The Bible doesn’t have a lot to say about singleness because our culture has changed so much and we are single adults much longer than we used to be. But the Bible has lots and lots to say about making the most of the time we have and living with purpose and living unashamedly for Jesus.

If you are married, you too have a high calling. Not higher, just different, and honestly more challenging according to Paul. Don’t take it lightly though. Your family is your greatest ministry. Love your husband. Raise godly children. Do it for the glory of God and remember you too are on training ground. We are being made pure day by day, so we will one day be made one with Jesus, our groom and the one who has pursued us from the start.

It’s all for him. Every season. Every status. Every age and both genders. We are here to make much of him.