Sarah D. Shearer

Last week I posted a rather strongly worded sentiment about how weary I am of the self-care, love yourself movement.

As with everything I post, I always click publish thinking it will be a cinch. I think I have said something so logical no one can possibly disagree, and then I am met with opposition time and time again. This particular post I can’t stop thinking about. Perhaps I worded it too strongly, but the heart of my message is set. We live in a world where self is exalted above all other people. We are told to look out for ourselves, love ourselves, cherish ourselves, and fight for ourselves, etc. (at the expense of everyone around us.).

If you relate it to women, we think we have been granted some sort of emancipation from our duties and now we can focus more centrally on ourselves. (One question please, how has the family unit been improved since the women’s liberation movement?)

For example, have you ever heard a woman go on about how she does so many things around the house and she’s not going to just serve her husband, if he’s not going to do it back to her. I’ve only been married a short month, but every day I’m faced with an opportunity. Will I sacrifice myself and do something that maybe both of us could have done?

Sure, we both live here, but if I see there are clothes that need to be washed, will I not wash them? If it means a lot to my husband that I make his lunch, will I not sacrifice for 10 minutes each evening to do that one small kindness for him just as he does so many things for me that probably go unnoticed?

Will you not agree that any successful marriage is built and strengthened as both parties lay down their self interests and choose to love the other person as they love themselves. 

So if we apply the successful formula for a marriage to the successful formula for an individual, will we not come away with the same answer?

The answer that it is better to give than to receive, better to think of others than think of self? I’m not saying I’m any sort of pro at this. Every day I find out how wicked I am and how much I need the Holy Spirit to give me a heart that would seek to serve rather than to be served. 

As I’ve read over the comments of people who disagree with me and the reasons they posited for the importance of taking care of oneself, I’m intrigued. After a hard year where maybe you have poured out to others and feel empty and want to be recharged, perhaps you are looking to make 2020 the year of “you.”

If this is the year where you figure out who you are apart from anything that has happened to you or what has been done to you, I applaud you. In fact, as I’m writing this I’m thinking of a few women I know who had many things taken from them and were abused and mistreated and continually placed in toxic situations for many years on end.  I’m looking at what they did to recover themselves and what we can learn from them.

They poured themselves into their family, and most importantly they poured themselves into the life source, Jesus. If at any point you think you are part of your own solution, you have become deceived.

We are a terrible solution. This is why we needed a Savior. It’s why we need a savior every minute of every day.

If you are thinking that your resolutions will stand firm this year, I’m sorry to let you know that you won’t last. It is quite true that  apart from Jesus we can do no good thing. Now if you are reading this and you don’t have a relationship with Jesus,  then I can’t really speak to you. If you go to the doctor and they prescribe medicine that you aren’t going to take and you knew that before you went into the doctor, then you wasted a trip to the doctor. He has been trying to give you this solution and if you don’t want it he really can’t help you. I feel the same way.

My solution and every Christian’s solution is Jesus. We try to over complicate it and make additions, And say things like well that’s all well and good Sarah but we need more than just Jesus.

 I disagree.

If we are connected to him and seek his face, he will not fail us. Last year was really hard for me in a lot of ways. I was tempted to give up on a certain project many, many times. I cried more last year than I probably cried every other year of my life.

Again I’m not saying I’ve any sort of poster child here, and anyone close to me will tell you that I had my share of moments where I was frustrated and short and harsh, but I recognized where I needed to find life, and I went back again and again to find life in Jesus and even still to this day I know he is my only hope.

We want to make a lot of other things our hope.

We want to say Jesus is our only hope, and also we need a, b, and c. And I recognize you can get into really tricky territory here because people will say that and then not take care of their bodies or not work to provide for their families, “because God will provide.” but I don’t think it’s tricky at all. Because if you are committed to Jesus and you are following what the Bible says, then you’re safe. he has provided everything we need for life and godliness. 

I do challenge you though, if you call yourself a Christian, what does that mean for you? How does that change how you live your entire life? Is Jesus just the icing on the cake for you, or is he everything? Do you say you are a follower of Christ in your Instagram bio, but then live as if you are the hope of the world, or worse yet, that your boyfriend is the hope of the world?

A few months ago I attended a funeral of a very dear family friend. When he retired, he had business cards made and when he would meet people he would give them this business card and it simply said “Jesus Christ, our only hope. ”

He lived his life by this motto and it is what he will be remembered for, among many other wonderful things. He knew the secret, and if we are willing to believe in the simplicity of it and really give Jesus our entire lives, we will know the secret as well. 

He is our only hope.