Sarah D. Shearer

I thought a five month engagement was practically a century, but as they all said, time flies. Wedding bands, hotel rooms, flowers, desserts, and tablecloths consume my mind these days. I am so not a details person, but planning a sizable event sort of requires that, so here we are. My goal in this process has been to focus more on the marriage than the wedding. After all, I’m not marrying my wedding day, I’m marrying Lucas.

The temptation is strong though, to put on this grand production, to please everyone, to do it on a budget, and to have a great time. I don’t believe it’s possible for all of those things to coexist. In the midst of all of that, I’m moving twice in the next three months, training a new employee to take over my position at work, trying to launch a new season of my writing career, and attempting to go on a few dates in between.

While I become so easily mired in minutia (where will we set up food at the reception??? and, will it actually happen or will it all fall apart? how will bridesmaids dresses coordinate?? ) Lucas is calm, steady, moored. He is ever peaceful, ever patient and exceedingly kind as I recount hypothetical disasters daily. He amazes me and confounds me.

I’m also realizing how frightfully unprepared I am for marriage. I don’t know how to be a good wife, how to trust, how to meld my life with someone else’s. I’m concerned about failing before I’ve even begun.

The other night I woke up in a panic at 2 am worrying about buffet tables at the reception, which devolved into an hour and a half of wondering about my bachelorette party, our honeymoon, our home, and a million other things. As I literally prayed the Lord my soul to keep, I felt the Lord speak very clearly to my groggy panic.

It was as though He was saying, “Of course you don’t have the grace to be a wife yet, Sarah. You aren’t married yet. I give you what you need for each day, and you’re not there yet. Go back to sleep.”

It makes sense, you know. I think Jesus meant it when he said, “Don’t worry about tomorrow. Each day brings enough trouble of its own.”

God gives us what we need for today’s challenges and joy’s, not tomorrow’s, not for when I get married, not for when I have kids or you have kids, or when you finish the house you’re building, or when your job changes, but today. He doesn’t give you a future supply, because Lord knows we wouldn’t manage it well.

He gives you and he gives me, grace for today.

I’m going to make a point to wake up and thank God for today. He is our portion, our daily bread, and more than enough to sustain us.

That’s all I’ve got for today, friends.