Sarah D. Shearer

I used to engage in a fair amount of facebook “discussions,” which is a nice way of saying long, ridiculous arguments where people you haven’t spoken with in years come out of the woodwork or offer their sentiments on your political or religious post. Then, other people you haven’t seen in years come in like ninjas and like the comments they support. Seventy eight comments later, your blood is boiling and no one has a changed opinion. It’s really quite fun. For obvious reasons, I decided to ease my way out of that life, but every once in a while, I find something I am so passionate about that I feel I will burst if I don’t say something.

This happened the other day after I spent the weekend in St. Augustine and was overwhelmed by the sheer lack of care so many women put into their clothing choices. In an attempt to be truthful and also halfway humorous, I posted a plea to women everywhere—cover your booty! Wear a bra! I sent it off to the void, thinking it would be a landslide..how could you not agree??

Well, I was wrong. It ended up being a very controversial topic, and among many things, I was called judgmental for daring to say what other women should or should not do.

This really caused me to think, and that’s why I’m reopening the topic. Either that or I’m a glutton for punishment.

How do we share uncomfortable truths without offending others? Is Facebook an appropriate place to share such things? Can anything good ever come of it? These are important questions especially for a writer with strong opinions. I desperately want to use my voice for good, but I also have a plethora of unpopular stances on issues.

Does this mean we who have unpopular views should stay quiet, because we won’t change anyone’s mind anyway, or does it mean we should wave our banners ever higher, because truth is so absent and if we do not speak it, who will?  Should we avoid hard topics because people will feel judged if we confront them, and should we just let everyone do what they want because they aren’t hurting anyone?

I believe the answer lies somewhere in the middle.

Paul in 1 Timothy encourages us to avoid fruitless arguments, so  there’s a real good road sign to success. If I’m more worried about a comeback than connection, I’ve missed the point entirely.

But he also encourages us to speak the truth boldly and he says “don’t be intimidated by people who are older than you, but speak the truth and live a life of purity and authentic love as  you remain strong in your faith.”

So this tells me I shouldn’t be sitting at home in a corner afraid of any sort of confrontation. Instead, I should be led by the Holy Spirit in all my conversations, whether I’m sitting at the coffee shop or scrolling through facebook. Am I prompted to share something? If so, I should do boldly and according to the Bible, with my motive being to draw people closer to the Truth which will make them free.

This means some people will not like me, or you, and I need to be okay with that. This means people will lash out because they feel attacked, or worse, convicted. I cannot control other people, but I can control myself.

I can speak truth in love, rather than truth in raw emotion and judgment. I can respect people even if we do not agree. I can be friends with people who are different than me. This all sounds rather obvious and elementary, but it is clearly an area many of us need to grow in.  

So, I’m going to grow in grace and strength, because I firmly believe we need to grapple with hard topics.  Passivity is not the answer, neither is aggressiveness.

I may post more unpopular things in the future, but here is my commitment:

I will address my motive before I engage in discussion.

I will be open to hearing a thought that is foreign to mine.

I will not tolerate the disrespect of elders, even in written form. If I see young people disrespecting older people or people making statements about other people’s’ character, I will delete the post.

Most of all, I will strive to be authentic in my real life, every day encounters with people. I choose to be fearless and also loving. I acknowledge my propensity to be sharp and cutting, and pray for grace to be kind.

But, I am unashamedly a believer in Jesus and his word. I’m old fashioned about sex and dating and modesty, I’m pro life, pro guns, and yes I voted for Trump. If this is too much for you, I understand and I wish you well. If the thought of intense fellowship excites you, welcome to the ride.

Let us seek to love well and speak the truth boldly.

Committed,

Sarah