Sarah D. Shearer

It’s been a while since I have written to you, dear readers. I have been quite occupied, learning something quite shocking about myself.

I thought I loved people, but I was wrong.

I call myself a people person. I fill my days with breakfast dates, dinner dates, and babysitting jobs. I like to help people and make the world a better place. I try to be nice to people in line and people in traffic, and as long as they are nice back, I love them.

But, the second people piss me off, do something selfish, disappoint me, lie, cut me off or do something contrary to who they claim to be, all the love in my heart dissipates and I am left with zero patience and zero love, aka zero Jesus.

My mom used to tell me ” Obedience with a bad attitude is disobedience.” In other words, my actions didn’t matter if my heart was in the wrong place. These days, my actions may be good on thee outside, but I’ve been struggling to get my heart in the right place. I’ve always loved being around people, but when you tack the words ministry or service onto the whole deal, suddenly I’m on the fast track to burnout.

I think for many years, I truly thought I was a loving person, but it was only because no one had tested me. Now, in a season of testing, I am seeing I don’t need Jesus to help me love people, I need him to completely take over. I don’t need more of him and less of me, I need all of him.

If you are in a season where you feel like your patience has run out and you find yourself saying “I’m done” multiple times a day, I get it.

I’ve seen sides of my personality come out I am so not proud of lately. Maybe you have too. Maybe today is a good day to be done with yourself. Maybe today is a good day to let Jesus be your mouthpiece. If he wouldn’t say it, neither should I. Maybe today is a good day to place all my hope and expectation in him, because he never disappoints. Maybe today is a good day to remember to be kind, for we are all fighting a hard battle. Maybe today is the first day of the rest of your life, a day where we can remember our valiant efforts are actual you know what all on their own.

If we for one second think we have something good going on our own, we are dangerously close to a burn out. Let’s be like Jesus.

Also: get this book: https://www.amazon.com/Everybody-Always-Becoming-Setbacks-Difficult/dp/0718078136/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1525875621&sr=8-1&keywords=everybody+always+bob+goff.